"This is the West, sir. When the legend becomes fact, print the legend."

I have posted Bill Ayers' op-ed piece in today's New York Times below. In it, Ayers vindicates himself after the media (read: Fox News) and politicians (read: the McCain campaign, mostly) made an ill-founded assassination attempt upon his character and that of presidential candidate, Barack Obama during the elections race. He debunks the accusation that he is "an unrepentant terrorist" quite rationally and comes off as less nefarious than I had hoped. Actually, he seems like a pretty decent guy (He ain't no Joe "the Plumber", but who is?).

I'm all for decency, but in Hollywood, a "narrative" with this kind of an ending wouldn't fly past the wastebasket. Here's how a Hack would pitch the new ending to this "dishonest drama":

A production office somewhere in Los Angeles--

Studio Bigwig: The focus groups aren't buying it. The feedback we're getting says that the movie's too tame. The bad guy's too soft. There's no blood, no guts, no guns, no sex. Not one arm gets blown off in the whole two hours! How are we gonna market this as an action flick to the 12-25 year-old jerk-offs who pay to see guys get blown up in IMAX?

Hack: No pun intended.

(dead silence)

Hack: (laughs nervously before quickly assuming a business-like tone) Alright, so we've miscast him as an "unrepentant domestic terrorist." How about we rewrite him as a "repentant domestic terrorist?"

Studio Bigwig: Go on.

Hack: Second act--He's comatose after a near-fatal plane crash. While he's in the intensive care ward, we do a series of flashbacks that show him setting fire to crosses, holding up Japanese tourists and throwing old ladies in wheelchairs down staircases like Tommy Udo in Kiss Me Deadly.

Studio Bigwig: Never seen it.

Hack: Oh. (slight pause) Anyway, it turns out he's had amnesia all along. But the shock he experiences as a result of the plane crash jolts him into recalling the deeds of his past. In the third act, he emerges from the coma thanks to the attentive care of one of the hot nurses at the hospital (who also happens to be super religious) and vows to make amends for all the horrible things he's done (which he now remembers doing). They fall in love, become missionaries in a worn-torn, third-world country and the movie ends with the two of them teaching peace and non-violence to illiterate kids in the slums.

(The Hack looks appealingly at the Studio Bigwig.)

Studio Bigwig: (considers it for a moment) I like it. We can do the flashbacks in CGI, shoot the third-world country scenes in Canada, and cast Penelope Cruz in the role of the nurse.

Hack: That's a great idea.

Studio Bigwig: It's what I get paid for.

________________________________________________________

The New York Times
Op-Ed Contributer

THE REAL BILL AYERS

By William Ayers
Published: December 5, 2008

"IN the recently concluded presidential race, I was unwillingly thrust upon the stage and asked to play a role in a profoundly dishonest drama. I refused, and here’s why.

Unable to challenge the content of Barack Obama’s campaign, his opponents invented a narrative about a young politician who emerged from nowhere, a man of charm, intelligence and skill, but with an exotic background and a strange name. The refrain was a question: “What do we really know about this man?”

...

I was cast in the “unrepentant terrorist” role; I felt at times like the enemy projected onto a large screen in the “Two Minutes Hate” scene from George Orwell’s “1984,” when the faithful gathered in a frenzy of fear and loathing.

With the mainstream news media and the blogosphere caught in the pre-election excitement, I saw no viable path to a rational discussion. Rather than step clumsily into the sound-bite culture, I turned away whenever the microphones were thrust into my face. I sat it out.

Now that the election is over, I want to say as plainly as I can that the character invented to serve this drama wasn’t me, not even close. Read more...